Old Age
26-02-2000
De le phuren pativ, bo the jekhvar aveha phuro.
Be respectful to old people, you will be old one day.
Romani proverb
Due to the fact that the Roma identified so strongly with their families, and
that the young and old lived together, the elderly often took a large part in
the raising of their grandchildren. The elderly were respected by their
children, and so by their grandchildren. Their opinion carried great weight and
they were not considered unnecessary members of the family. The Roma also pay
great attention to the customs around the death of any person.
The idea has survived to the present day that a deceased member of the family
comes for someone who is dying, and stays with them until their funeral and
then takes them away to the next world. The personal belongings of the deceased
were placed in the coffin along with the body, even more valuable items like
rings, earrings, watches, violins, guitars, but also pipes, cigarettes,
glasses, bottles of alcohol, cards, and - if the deceased was a believer - also
prayer books and rosaries. The family put money into the hand or pocket of the
deceased (usually small coins). From the moment of death to the funeral, the
relatives of the dead person would sit up with the body - keeping watch.
There were certain rules of behavior to follow during this period: the mourners
played
cards, told stories from the life of the deceased, but they couldn't sing,
dance, or make toasts with their glasses. Before drinking their first drink,
each person would spill a little out onto the ground in memory of the deceased.
Some time
after the funeral, each of the survivors had to go and visit the grave, to make
it clear to the deceased how satisfied they had been with the funeral. The
presence
of the dead was revealed by various signs, sounds, and appearances in dreams.
Romani funerals were always distinctly expensive, particularily showy to the
present day are those of the Wallachian Roma, where one
may see coffins with glass lids, graves strewn with rare carpets, and so on.
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The idea has survived to the present day that a deceased member of the family
comes for someone who is dying, and stays with them until their funeral and
then takes them away to the next world. The personal belongings of the deceased
were placed in the coffin along with the body, even more valuable items like
rings, earrings, watches, violins, guitars, but also pipes, cigarettes,
glasses, bottles of alcohol, cards, and - if the deceased was a believer - also
prayer books and rosaries. The family put money into the hand or pocket of the
deceased (usually small coins). From the moment of death to the funeral, the
relatives of the dead person would sit up with the body - keeping watch.
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